Go to any open source or Linux conference and you are faced with a dicotomy - more than half of the attendees will be using Apple laptops, made by one of the most closed source and proprietary companies in the tech industry. There are several reasons for this, but it is becoming harder to both like Apple and free software. This talk will detail the steps that a long time Apple fanboy took to divorce himself from Apple products by replacing them with open source alternatives, with the key goal of not giving up any functionality. Was he successful? Come to the presentation and see.